


Holy Kisses, Heavenly Fun

by Jillian



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Drugs, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-29
Updated: 2011-06-29
Packaged: 2017-10-20 20:21:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/216744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jillian/pseuds/Jillian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To most of the fans, the Amsterdamn GNT show will be remembered as the hottest show they have yet seen. To Tommy it means the start of a whole new life</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holy Kisses, Heavenly Fun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [@aniettwiet](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%40aniettwiet).



> The sweet @aniettwiet painted this (http://twitpic.com/5igtsw)amazing painting as a memory to the unforgetable Amsterdam GNT show. When I saw it, I knew I needed to write about it.  
> Here it is, Anita, I hope you like it (and hopefully it was worth the loooong wait ;-))

It’s been 5 years to the day since I last stood in front of these doors. Well, last time I stood in front of the stage entrance doors, but it’s still the same building and a door is a door basically, so there.

We’ve been back here before, to Holland I mean, but I never got a chance to return to that concert hall we performed at. Adam’s career really lifted off internationally when his second album was released, so we only played in bigger venues from that second tour on. Tomorrow we’ve actually got a gig at one of the bigger and I’ve been told renowned, concert halls of this country, a venue called Avast or Ahoy or whatever, who cares, really? All I know it’s not in Amsterdam this time.

But our hotel is still in Amsterdam, thank fuck. Adam insisted on it, said he wouldn’t perform if he couldn’t. Ha, as if...  
Adam had already told me he wanted to show me something and I figured he’d wanted to bring me here… This is where it all really started, where ‘we’ started. Fuck, has it really already been 5 years? It feels more like 5 months.

~

‘Dude, get your ass off my book, what’s wrong with you? Yes, I called the guy and he said he would be at the hotel at 4, so chill’ I knew I never should have mentioned that I have a friend who knows a guy here who can get us some great shit. Now everyone is all over me, all anxious like little kids in a candy store.

We were driving past towns I would never in my life be able to pronounce, but Amsterdam was apparently only 45 more kilometres away. Not that I can remember what that is in miles… 25? 35? One day I will get this metric system figured out, but today is definitely not that day.

The vibe on the bus was amazing today, everyone has been looking forward to tonight. Not just because of the stash I hope I really scored, but everyone is dying for another night on the town. We’ve been told Amsterdam has amazing clubs, lots of gay bars (gotta keep the big boss happy, right?) and more coffee shops than you can count. I have a feeling most of us will not remember much of tonight in the morning and I’m kind of hoping to be among the non-remembering. I need to just get drunk and let go for a night. I’ve been way too stressed lately and it’s driving me up the wall. I might even hook up with someone if she holds my interest long enough. At this point I am willing to do just about anything to get rid of this weird unsettled feeling.

I know what it probably has to do with, but there is no way I am ready to admit to any of that yet. Until then, I will live in the comfort of sweet denial.

We arrive at the hotel 25 minutes late, which means ’my guy’ is already anxiously waiting for me inside the lobby. He looks a bit like a yuppie, but my friend already told me about that. After some small talk, he gives me my stuff and leaves.

Shit, now I kinda regret meeting up in the lobby, cause with him leaving, just about everyone on this tour is within 2 feet of me... and we are with a LOT on this tour.  
‘Get the fuck off my back, I promise you’ll get some later’.  
I don’t care about the looks they give me as I walk off to go up to my room. I am totally lighting one up before we head out to the venue and I don’t need anyone around me for it. If this stash is as good as my friend promised me it would be, then fuck everyone, I deserve first dibs.

Of course my peace and quiet lasts for about 3 seconds after I close the door to my room. By the sound of the knock, it can only be 1 person.  
‘No, Lambert, just because your voice pays my bills doesn’t give you any privilege’  
I’m not even bothered to open the door. I know the second I do, my stash is gone… not gonna happen!

‘Oh, come on, TommyJoe, I promise I won’t beg for a hit, just wanted to chat’  
‘Yeah, cause we hardly ever do that on _that_ friggin’ bus’

Fuck, this stuff smells good, that guy wasn’t lying. I can still hear Adam begging on the other side of the door, but that’s just fun entertainment while I role one up, open up my window and light it up. I close my eyes as I let the first hit hit my lungs. Again, this guy has not been lying, probably the best stuff I’ve had in years, it’s strong but it doesn’t make me cough up.

I can feel the effect of the weed seep into my body, tension tries to ebb away a little as I allow my body to relax.

But then I hear someone fumbling at the door, I see the handle go down and fucking open. Shit, Isaac never comes up before gigs, he usually stays on the bus, like most of us do when we’re this late. The less time in empty, lifeless hotel rooms the better.

You bet your ass I quickly stuff my stuff away. I love everyone on this tour, they’re my second family, but you can’t trust them for shit when it comes to this type of stimuli. They turn into beggars who haven’t been fed in days or vampires in dire need of blood… scary shit.

Like I said… Isaac _never_ comes up before gigs... and it didn’t register that Adam had been quiet for a few minutes until I see his head pop around the door. The fucker _actually_ went down to get Isaac’s key.

‘Adam, what the fuck? You actually went down to get Isaac’s key, just to get a hit already? You’re gonna have to wait, just like the rest, alright? Could you just give me a few minutes? I’ll be right down, promise.’

I shouldn’t’ve said that. I should. Not. Have. Said. That. Never, ever, ever ask Adam for a few minutes alone, he’ll be on you like a magnet, wanting to know why you need those few minutes, if everything is okay, if you need to talk to anyone. He looks at me cautiously, trying to figure out if I’m just bullshitting him or if there is more to my statement. ‘Yeah… you are not getting away with me that easy, hand me that spliff and talk to me’. Normally I would do as he just asked, that’s just how the two of us are, but not this time. I really didn’t want to talk about what was truly bothering me.

I don’t say anything; just shake my head while I motion for him to stand by the window so he can smoke up some of the joint. We stand there in a comfortable silence until the joint is gone. Adam closes his eyes and takes a very deep breath, as if this’ll enhance the effect of the weed more. When he opens his eyes again, he fixes his gaze on me. I know he wants to try talking again, which is exactly why I keep _my_ gaze fixed on the houses right across from the hotel on the other side of the canal. I don’t want to talk because I don’t know how to answer any of the questions I know he wants to fire at me.

‘That shit is good’ he says, shifting his look to the point I’m probably also looking at. ‘One more of this stuff and the show tonight will be a whole different experience’ Adam started to laugh. But that laugh disappears almost as quickly as it came. ‘So… ready to talk yet?’ he says next. I knew it, the bastard.  
‘What’s there to talk about? I’m having an off day, nothing I won’t survive.’  
‘Yeah honey, this is not just an off day, more an off month. Starting to get worried, babe.’

~

That’s when I lit up another one, just to get the attention off me and it kinda worked yet it didn’t. He stopped asking me what was wrong and just kept watching me. I remember how it got on my nerves and how I wanted to tell him to stop but I didn’t want to talk, so I ended up staring back, waiting for him to give up. He never did. We ended up in some sort of staring contest, actually fucking giggling until something shifted in our gazes. Tension rose and if Lane had not knocked on my door, I don’t know what would have happened.

Adam told me a year later that he saw in my eyes how I felt about him, that the weed only enhanced it.

From the moment Lane knocked on that door and we had to leave for the venue, there was this weird yet comfortable tension between us. The rest of the band noticed it too, but somehow they all seemed a little more relaxed. Apparently my mood from the last few weeks had not gone unnoticed at all and they actually had sent Adam up to ‘talk’ (though Sasha once admitted she was bummed my lips were not swollen or anything when we got down. There were actually fucking bets on what was going to happen while Adam was upstairs with me)

Once everyone got over the fact that nothing had happened, they all started to bug me about the weed again and I wasn’t going to hold out on them any longer too. I have to say that it was the funniest sound check we ever did. Adam kept flirting with just about anyone with a heart beat and by the time he left for the meet & greet he had tried to grope me more than once. The first grope was still all fun and games, but towards the end of the sound check he got me all hot and bothered and whispered in my ear that my erection looked good on me, that I should wear it more often.

Yeah… that was the most frustrated bathroom jerk I ever did. It only took me a minute or so to come but at least I lost a very painful erection. But that was the moment I knew that Adam and I would never be the same again, that something had changed between us. That was also the moment I knew I needed to start being honest with myself and stop hiding myself in denial any longer.

The show that night was amazing. I don’t think we’ve all ever played at a venue as beautiful as this. At least none of us has ever done a performance like this in a former church, that’s for sure. The whole ambiance enhanced the show and the multiple joints smoked up already made me trip a little too. But fuck, what a good trip it was.

It was clear from the moment we all stepped on stage, that the sexual tension between Adam and me was thick. We had not talked about the fan service act for that night, blame that on the weed too, but we never needed to. The Fever kiss is still the one I think back of most of the whole tour, it wasn’t spectacular, not at all like Munich, but to me it was completely different from all the others. This was the first one that felt real…

The encore that night was definitely something completely different. Adam had already said he needed to do Purple Haze here and halfway during the show it was decided that Whole Lotta Love was going to be added to the encore too. But right before we got back on stage, Adam whispered in my ear that if I thought my lipstick would throw him off this time, I had another thing coming. I figured he meant just a lick or something during Purple Haze, like he does most nights… but I never saw that kiss during Whole Lotta Love coming, even the audience could see that that kiss left nothing to the imagination (or my reaction to it, fans tweeted that gif of me adjusting my junk to me ‘only’ a few hundred times).

~

‘Tommy, get your drunk ass out of there’ Taylor yells at me from the other side of the bathroom stall. ‘Or you got someone in there with ya?’

I could just keep quiet, maybe they’ll leave me alone then. Amsterdam really is as fantastic as people told me it would be, but I cannot seem to enjoy a single second of it. The sexual tension between Adam and myself has gone from ‘thick’ to ‘need a knife to get through it’ and if I thought the last few weeks were driving me insane, this feeling right now feels about a tenfold of that. I don’t even really know why I agreed to come along with everyone, I know I have been looking forward to Amsterdam for weeks, but when it actually came to it, when everyone was ready to finally explore what we have been told about for so long, all I wanted to do was go back to my hotelroom and lock myself up with either a bottle of Jack or Johnny. Somehow I ended up going along after all.

‘Look, Tay, I really am not feeling too well, could you tell the rest that I’m going back to the hotel?’ I really do need to clear my head and I can’t really do that with Isaac bouncing in my room. When he is this elated, there is no way in hell he will calm down within the next hour or so.  
‘Dude, you sure? Want me to walk you back?’ That’s the downside of having a second family, they are all concerned and want to make sure you are allright. All the fucking time. I am like this too with all of them, that’s how close we have become. But at times when you just want to be alone for a little while, it’s hard to tell them no.

‘I’ll walk him back’ comes Adam’s voice from the fucking stall right next to me, when the hell did he get here? I’ve been here for at least 5 minutes, but I never heard the stall door next to me open. He tried to sound tired, but there was something in his voice that told me otherwise. ‘I’ve seen enough fans for the night, not nearly enough were cute boys’.

Will Adam ever hear a ’no’ from me?

It does not take a lot of persuasion from Taylor and Terrence to agree with Adam’s idea and they leave the bathroom soon after. It does however take Adam longer than usual to get out of that stall. But when he finally does, he grabs my hand and tells me to follow him. We say our goodbye’s to everyone, assure Lane we do not need a bodyguard to walk us back, assure Neil my stash is really gone now and make our way out to get Adam’s coat.

Churchbells chime a new hour as we step out into the crisp november air. It’s not as cold as Scandinavia had been but I still put my fists deep in coat, not really knowing what else to do with them now Adam let go of my hand. He doesn’t say anything, just looks around as we make our walk back, as if he is trying to remember the way back. Now, I am in no way equiped with a built in navigation system, but something tells me this is not the way back to the hotel.

‘Adam, are you sure this is right? Wasn’t the hotel more that way? I think I just spotted a bridge between those buildings over there. I think we are walking away from the canals now and I _know_ the hotel was right on one of the canals, my internal navigation might suck, but my room looks out over a freaking canal, so I’m pretty sure I remembered that right.’  
‘We’re not going back to the hotel, don’t worry, just follow me’  
‘Whoa where are we going?’  
‘You’ll see’ He says with a smirk and swiftly quickens his pace.

It only takes another few minutes until we see the old church turned concert hall appear again, all lit up now. The rush of the performance returns and I wonder why Adam wants to return here? I figured he’d wanted to go back to the hotel and at least talk, or... I don’t know.

I still don’t get a chance to ask what we are doing here. I do try to ask, but it’s like he doesn’t hear me or something. He is looking around very nervously, as if he doesn’t want to get caught. But caught doing what?

Adam walks up to the same stage entry door we walked out of only a few hours ago, fumbles in his pockets and he must have found what he was looking for, cause his face eases yet tenses up even more.

‘Adam, when the fuck are you going to tell me what we are doing here?’

No, ofcourse he doesn’t answer, why should he? All he does is proudly hold up a key, as if that explains everything. Then he has the nerve to start laughing because I clearly express I have no fucking clue what that key is supposed to mean.

‘A key? Yeah... still doesn’t explain what the fuck we are doing here, Lambert.’

And all of a sudden he decides that we have talked loud for long enough and the fucker actually shushes me! Then whispers ‘what does a key do, _Ratliff_?’

Okay, don’t know if I had that one coming or not...

‘A key opens doors, doesn’t it?’ he continues ‘You have any idea yet which door this little key opens?’

Adam does not wait for my answer, which, even though we are right in front of a door, I would probably never in my life have been able to give. I mean, who the fuck would have known the answer to that... Who the fuck would have expected the answer he is about to give... or more _show_?

‘This key’ Adam continues hushedly ‘opens this door right here’ and he points to the stage entry door! How the...

‘How the fuck did you get that key? And what the fuck are you planning on doing in there?’ Yes, I’m freaking out. I mean, I love the thrill of doing something we maybe really shouldn’t, but we could get into all kinds of trouble if we get caught and we are in a different country, who knows what Dutch law is like? We could be stuck in jail for fuck knows how long...

‘Are you kidding me? You don’t want to go in? Shit, out of everyone, I figured you would be the most game to sneak around in there. I found the key just after soundcheck and I just had to take it, don’t know why really. But come _oooon_. This place is amazing, right? You can stay outside if you want, but I am going in. If only to get back on that stage and feel the accoustics when I scream my ass off, even for just a second. Oh come on Tommy... you know you want to. It’ll be fun...

...You can smoke that last spliff I _know_ you have hidden in your pocket all by yourself up on one of the balconies...’

Again he doesn’t wait for my answer. He looks around nervously for one last time and puts the key in the lock and the damn key actually turns and opens the door for us. Only then do we realise an alarm could easily go off, but after about a minute, no alarms have went off and we do not hear any police sirens wake up the night’s silence.

Even Adam looks a little surprised, I guess he had not really thought this through as much as he tried to make me believe just now. He looks at me again and then steps inside, begging me with his eyes to follow. Heh, not as brave now, are you Lambert?

The entire place looks so different now that it is deserted and dark. But as soon as we enter that main hall, the light of the moon shines through those amazing huge leaded glass windows and it makes the space look almost magical.

‘Look at this place, isn’t this amazing?’ Adam asks me, looking around as if he might find Santa hiding in a corner... or whatever Jewish, bearded, red-suited man he got presents from on holidays when he grew up.  
It’s funny to watch Adam run around. He is so hyper and excited. He almost trips when he tries to jump over the fences to get up on stage.

But as soon as he gets back up on that stage, he just starts singing. Mercury, Bowie... His version of ‘Quicksand’ is unbelievable, if he doesn’t do that one on the next tour, I’m kicking his ass.

When he is finally done, he sits down in the middle of the stage and does that staring thing again. As if he really cannot get enough of being here. Like this place puts him in a whole different space, or something.

That’s when I decide to share that last joint with Adam, the one that he apparently knew I was hiding. We sit there, on stage, not talking but just enjoying the silence. Then, out of the blue, he says ‘We almost took things too far on stage tonight, didn’t we?’  
‘Yeah....’  
‘It was fun though, wasn’t it? I-I mean, the audience definitely didn’t see that last one coming, did they? They went _wild_!’  
‘Yeah, they did...’ I don't really know what else to say. It's true, but what else do you say to that? Instead I take the joint and inhale deeply and just close my eyes and enjoy the pull this stuff has on me.

'I love you...' he says hesitantly after a few minutes silence. He says it in such a way that I can feel a certain weight behind his words. As if... I don't know...  
'I love you too, boo. You know that, right?'  
Adam looks at me, really looks at me, swallows (you know, like you see overly exaggerated in cartoons, those kinds of swallows) and says it again:  
'No, you don't get it... I love you...' This time he says it with scared puppy dog eyes, like a kid who might be getting taken away it's blanky, or something.  
'Okayyyyy.... no more weed for you, my friend'

'You don't get it, do you? Or are you really trying to deny what I know you know is there? Cause I will never believe that you actually think that what we share on stage is really nothing more than bloody 'fan service'. Is it?'

Adam had gotten up during his short rant. That's what it was. He was pissed and I can't even tell if that is the weed or the booze or himself talking. Might be a combination of all three, I don't know. He is pacing the stage, walking to and from me, breathing deep, nervously switching between scratching his ear and trying to get that one strand of hair back that keeps falling in front of his eyes. Every time he is near me, he looks at me very shortly, closes his eyes and turns around again and starts the process all over again.

And now I need to answer, whether I'm ready or not... If only I knew what to say.

'I... I don't know what to say now. No, it's not just fan service and everyone on this planet who still has a pulse knows this. But then, what IS it? What is it between you and me, Adam? What do you mean when you say you love me? And why do you? Why would you? Why do I? I... I mean.... fuck, I don't even know what I mean anymore. I am so fucked up right now that I don't even understand myself anymore, let alone anyone else.

Maybe... maybe this is not the right time to talk, right now.'

'Then when is the right time to talk, Tommy? I don't think there is ever a 'right' or 'wrong' time to talk. Not in this case. Just get it over and done with, rip off that band aid and face your truth.'

'Because I am too scared to face the truth...'

~

That's when Adam stopped waiting. He almost ran the short distance between us and crashed his lips to mine. He kisses me softly but passionately. No tongue, just his lips to mine. I still remember how tight I held on to his jacket and how tears kept running down my face yet I wasn't really crying as such. When Adam let go of my lips, he kept wiping my tears away and all he kept saying was 'I know, I know'.

He never let go of me. He sat us down and we talked and talked and talked. I tried to explain about the stuff that had been bothering me and that I honestly still did not fully understand what he probably already knew. He promised he would help me through it all, no matter what the outcome might be. Even if it did turn out I wasn't cut out to be with a man after all.

Dawn was already breaking when Adam kissed me again. This time no tears fell down my face, I wasn't freaking out and I didn't feel like running. All I wanted was for Adam to take care of me. And he did.

He held me as he kept kissing me while he lay us down. He let me explore every inch of his body I was ready to touch. He didn't even look disappointed when I told him I wasn't ready to actually touch his dick without fabric in the way yet, he was happy enough that I did try over his jeans. He was so hard that that scared me a little. That was the only time ever I saw a worried look in his eyes.

But I quickly took that worried look away by begging him to kiss me. When Adam touched me, I feared I would freak out again, but I didn’t. Not even when he slid his hands in my underwear and softly grabbed my painfully hard ‘problem’ (his words, not mine). I don’t think I ever felt so good until he did just that. He stroked me gently and carefully until I blacked out and came all over his hand and my shirt.  
When I finally opened my eyes again, he had this cute blush on his face, made me want to return the favour immediately, this time I didn’t even think, I just wanted to. But when my hand felt moist fabric where a hard-on had pressed against the zipper only minutes earlier, I understood why he had blushed.

 

I can’t believe that’s exactly 5 years ago today already. So much has happened since then. We managed to keep 'us' a secret for a bit more than a year, but when the first performances for the second album were done and fans saw us practically joined at the hip, we could not deny anything any longer. I didn’t want to hide anymore either.

Adam had been ready to shout it out loud to the world that I was his and he was mine, but realised very soon that that might not be the best of ideas as I was still getting used to a whole new and different lifestyle. I had to come to terms with the fact that besides my fascination with women, there was this one man in my life now who could make me forget all about the female species.

Adam, on the other hand, had to get used to me still being attracted to women. I still flirted with them and could very easily still get very turned on by them. The first time we watched porn with a not all male threesome was something Adam really had to get used to.

But we worked it all out and we were even the very first gay couple to get legally married when California finally legalised gay weddings 2 years ago.

And now, here we are, back where we started. Adam has that secretive look in his eyes again. If he thinks he can have his wicked way with me here outside against that entrance door we snuck through 5 years ago, he has got another thing coming. It’s a lot colder than it was 5 years ago and it’s been raining off and on all night. No way am I taking my dick out here. Not even his puppy dog eyes will manage _that_ this time.

But then he takes out a key… that very same fucking key he took out that night. The one he told me he put back when we left.

The very one that made him get that tattoo of another key on his arm, he told the press and fans he got it because of that painting, which he did buy and the meaning behind that painting really is something he believes in. But no one knows that our night was the true reason why he got it. No one, not even the band, know about that very small keyhole tattoo I had gotten shortly after he had his done. I had it put on my horror sleeve, next to Regan MacNeil. I wanted to keep that from the outside world, just something for me and Adam. So far, some fans have studied my arms (and some of them a little more than necessary), but none of them have really asked about it or even seemed to have noticed.

‘Is that what I think it is, Adam?’ Okay, okay, so I’ve had a few already to celebrate, don’t judge me right now. ‘I thought you said you left it inside when we left last time?’.  
‘I lied…’ Adam giggles.  
'Wait, you've had that key for 5 years and you never told me? What else have you been keeping from me, Lambert?´  
'Nothing you need to know about yet, _Lambert_!' Yeah, I am...

 

Again we wait for a possible alarm to go off and again nothing happens. Maybe we should leave a note, to let people know how easy it is to get in this place. The venue looks exactly the same, as if time stood still. The same moonlight shone through the same beautiful leaded glass windows. The same fences block you from running up the stage. Everything looks exactly the same.

Even Adam's look in his eyes is the same as it was back then. He still resembles that kid in a magical candy store when he looks around. He again skips as he makes his way up on the stage and again almost trips when he tries to jump the fences.

I can't help but stare at him mesmerised while he stands there up on that stage. I mean, I must be the luckiest guy on earth to have found a guy like him. When the light of the moon through the leaded glass windows hits Adam in such a beautiful way, I take out my phone and snap an amazing picture. He is fully lit in it while the background is all dark. The colours of the leaded glass give his entire body this colourful glow. Oh yes, Lee Cherry, eat your heart out, I am so showing you this masterpiece when we get back home.

Instead of joining my husband, I make it up to the balconies. They really have an amazing view over the stage. I sit down in one of the chairs and light up that one joint I again had kept hidden from everybody else. Adam probably knew again, but he didn't say anything about it yet. It does not really take long before I have that answer.  
'I knew it! Don't you dare finish that one up without me, you hear?'

2 minutes later, he snatches it out of my hand and takes a drag. We don't speak, while we smoke it up, just enjoying the silence and each other's company. I love moments like these; moments when words aren't needed. We once spent almost an entire day without talking, just a nod here or a kiss there, perfect.

It's usually Adam who breaks the silence and true to tradition, he does it now too.  
'C'mere' he says and takes a long drag but doesn't exhale. He pulls me closer and kisses me like only he knows how to do. The combination of his kiss and the smoke of the weed make me dizzy, but wanting for more.

And that's what I do, I take exactly that what I want so badly. I sit down in Adam's lap and make him do it again. Drag after drag we share until the spliff is really gone. My need for feeling and tasting Adam intensified tenfold, I keep kissing him, I keep touching him. I need to feel so much more than I can right now.

Adam looks at me questioningly when I open up his jacket and try to take it off. He doesn't say anything. It won't be long until he gets my drift. Even after all these years, he can still get surprised about my kink for weird outdoor places to have sex. And right here, right now I need it. I need to feel Adam buried so deep inside of me.

Just like always, it doesn’t really take very long for Adam to get with the program. He might still be surprised every time about my wants and needs, but he loves it just as much. The look he has in his eyes _right now_ tells me just that, like I knew it would.

It doesn’t happen often, and if it does, it never lasts very long, but Adam let’s me be in control for now. It’s usually me who gives up control quickly, too addicted to his dominant possessiveness.

I can feel Adam’s cock grow hard under me as I peel layer after layer off of us. Jackets, sweaters, shirts, it all goes flying over the railing, which of course causes a snicker from Adam. But I manage to kill that the second his gaze falls upon mine. I know he can see the hunger in them, my need for him. It not only shuts him up, it makes his dick go from semi-hard to painful in a matter of seconds.

‘Fuck, you’re so hard, baby. Are you going to put that in me any time soon? You gonna fuck me hard with it? I’ve wanted you to fuck me here for years. You gonna make that wish come true for me?’

I knew I really should not have said that. That’s just asking for him to take over again. Not that I mind, duhh, but I think I could’ve handled calling the shots a little while longer. It’s funny how our moods shift immediately as soon as I hand him the rains. I go pliant within seconds and shiver at the thought of what he will do to me.

He kisses me, that’s what he does! Slow, hot, wet and dirty as hell. Exactly the way he knows I like it. He grinds his rock hard cock against my ass and slips his hands in the back of my jeans to hold me in place. A finger traces the rim of my hole. Fuck, I love it when he does that. I know he will not press past the rim yet, he’ll just tease me until I can’t take it any longer. His need to hear me beg is strong. Much, much stronger than my ability not to beg. I cave easily but I don’t care. In the end I still get what I want, don’t I?

Adam matches the pressure of his finger against my hole with his own thrusts. Every few thrusts, he presses harder. The tip of his middle finger makes it’s way past the rim. Adam will not take it further without any lubrication, but it feels so good that I can’t really care about prepping myself right now.  
‘Take off your jeans’ he breaths against my lips, pushing me off his lap. That's easier said than done, especially with those god damn boots I decided to wear tonight. 'Hurry up' Adam hisses 'I can't wait any longer, baby'. Well duh, but I am still struggling with those fucking boots. Note to self: throw them out as soon as you get back to the hotel. They might look good, but they are not worth the struggle, especially when Adam looks so hot and flustered like he does now.

'Hang on, why am I naked and you are not?'  
'Shut up and come here'

As soon as I straddle Adam's lap, he grabs my hips and rocks our cocks together. When he pulls me close, I bite his neck, none too gently, leaving a mark people will see for a few days if he doesn't cover it up. Adam might be the dominant one but that never stopped me from marking him. I love seeing bruises on his body. I never mark him badly though, not like he sometimes covers me in them. But the few ones I give him, give me a thrill that can get me hard just thinking about them.

I can hear Adam rip the small lube packet and soon I feel his fingers back on my still non-existing ass. I love that first finger making it's way inside of me, funnily enough that is always the one that Adam takes time longest for, fingers 2, 3 and at times 4, are not nearly as careful as that first one.

By the time his finger is fully sheathed inside, I am rocking back and forth, fucking his finger. As Adam adds a second finger I only speed up the pace. I know I need that third finger to open me up properly, but I just can't wait that long. I'll regret it in the morning, but I grab Adam's throbbing cock anyway and position myself right over it, begging Adam to take his fingers out.  
'Baby, you are not ready, you are so tight, I will never make it in'  
'Don't care... need... I want.... please Adam, please... please' He still looks at me so worried but I grab his wrist with my other hand and pull his fingers out myself. I can see a protest coming up and that's when I press my opening against the tip of his cock. That shuts Adam up.

And that is also when I realise that once again, my dearest husband was right. But I still can't care, my need is too big to worry. Very, very slowly I lower myself over his cock. Inch by inch make their way inside. Adam holds me in place while he closes his eyes, not able to handle the pleasure. Finally I feel the tiny curls tickling my balls and I try to relax. I kiss him as I slowly raise myself to the point where Adam almost leaves my body again. Adam is panting by the time he is fully sheathed up to the hilt again. Every slow thrust gets easier and with every thrust I go faster and harder, until I can’t keep up anymore, I need Adam to take over, to let me come spectacularly.

With 2 simple nods, I lift myself up and turn around, I grab the railing right when Adam grabs my hips. He thrusts deep inside with such a force I can’t breathe for a number of seconds. Relentless he pulls back and thrusts inside again, hitting my spot. He uses me like a fucktoy, pulling me in and shoving me off, rough, hard and without mercy.  
‘Don’t you dare come before I tell you to’ He commands through gritted teeth, on the brink of his own orgasm. He knows how close I am, he knows how hard it is not to come when you can feel your balls already tightening and your seed already making it’s way up.  
‘Tommy!!!’ He warns me again and that works. I don’t know how I do it, but I manage not to come yet.

Adam on the other hand, cries out and with a final bone crushing thrust fills me up, he keeps pumping his still spraying cock inside until he can’t keep going anymore. Before I get a chance to get worried he has forgotten all about me, he takes his cock out and spins me around, his come dripping out of my ass, and takes my throbbing cock in his mouth, but not before he tells me to fuck it. This is my reward, he knew how much I wanted to be in control, he knew I could never keep it up.

You don’t need to tell me that twice. I grab his hair and shove my dick in and out of his mouth as fast as I can. There’s no control, all that is on my mind is fill that mouth with my come. When Adam looks at me with his big blue eyes, silently begging me, I lose control and empty my balls in his mouth.

Adam is my come slut, he never fails to swallow a drop I give him. And when he wipes his mouth, he pulls me in his lap on the floor and kisses me so deep, proving once more he didn’t fail this time.

‘I love you, you know that right?’ a soft whisper in my ear. He lifts me up and sits down on one of the chairs.  
‘5 years, can you believe it?’  
‘Happy anniversary, boo’

We sit there for the longest time, not saying a word. Words aren’t needed. I get my phone out again and snap another picture of the view. This one is just for me, I never want to forget this moment. The moon has shifted so the light falls in through the leaded glass from a different angle now. It’s still so magical and I almost never want to get up ever again. Just sit here till the end of my days, holding on to my love.

Eventually we do get up. The adrenaline has left our bodies now and with it the warmth of our bodies. I don’t realise how cold I am until I start shivering. Our clothes are cold too when we pick them up off the floor, but they will warm up soon.

I take one last look at the stage and the big windows behind it. I know I’ll be back here one day, maybe next year, maybe in 10 or 20 years, we’ll see. All I know is that when I return, I’ll still have Adam by my side.

As we walk back to the hotel, I have to ask ‘So, you actually left the key this time?’  
Adam blushes and averts my eyes and says ‘I-I did, I left it on our seat’ And as he says this, he puts his hands deeper in his pockets and I know he is lying...


End file.
